Dark Side
by Raychaell Dionzeros
Summary: When you have a dark side in you that threatens everyone you've ever loved, what sacrifices will you make to make sure it doesn't get what it wants? "I will destroy everything that you've ever loved!" A collab with Jasblue97. A songfic based on the song 'Monster' by Skillet. Warning: Mainly from my OC Nic's POV, and will contain death.


**First off, this is a collab between me and Jasblue97. I will be using her OCs in this, and it's going to be tragic. I still have no idea if I want this as an oneshot or two chappies, but I'll put it as complete first. Thank you Jas for letting me use your OCs! This will be from my OC's Nicolas Goldeyes' POV.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji or Jas' OCs.**

**An intro to the characters I'll be using: **

**Raychaell's OCs**

**Nicolas Goldeye, human mage. Older brother to Aislinn Night and Sheila Diablos. Necromancer, known as Nic to his friends and family. Real name: Jonathon Hearst, Johnny or Jon for short**

**Aislinn Night, human mage. Younger than Nic by three years, younger twin to Sheila Diablos and little sister of Nic. Elemental mage with powers of earth manipulation. Able to control red roses that look like ordinary but have the ability to drain your life through the thorns. Known as Ash to friends and family. Real name: Elizabeth Hearst, Elise for short**

**Sheila Diablos, human mage. Younger than Nic by three years, older than Ash by two mins and little sister to Nic. Overprotective of her family, able to control black roses that have same abilities as Ash's. Known as Shay to family. Real name: Alicia Hearst, Alice for short**

**Jas' OCs**

**The girls:**

**Jas herself, neko, white tiger demon. Raven is her demon.**

**Raven, wolf demon, younger sister to Darius. Jas is like a younger sister to her. Married to Sebastian**

**The guys:**

**Darius, wolf demon, older brother to Raven. (Need I say more?)**

**Jerico, bat demon, contracted to Jade, youngest son of Lucifer, doctor by profession.**

**Kuro characters:**

**Sebastian Michaelis, Husband to Raven**

**Ciel Phantomhive**

**Note:**

**Thoughts**

'Thinking'

_Memory_

"**Darker side speaking"**

**Now, enjoy!**

* * *

I never thought that he'll appear again, this dark side of me which has killed mercilessly for several years. Now, I kept seeing it in my mind, those dark memories I tried so hard to supress. "Don't kill me please! I have children and a family to take care of!" The man begged beneath me. I merely beheaded him with one slash of my black sword. Inside, I was screaming once again as another life was taken by my hand. The soul was never released. Instead, it was bound to my sword and forced to sustain my dark motives. Outside, my darker self was grinning madly, just like Sheila when she was in a bloodthirsty mood.

"NOOO! I won't give in!" I screamed. Then I saw my dark reflection again. He was a perfect reflection of me, but the shadows were entwined around him and his eyes were as black as the shadows surrounding him, not the gold I knew it should be. Blood dripped from his gloved hands to form a pool of blood as I watched in horror. I fell upon my knees, trembling even as images from my suppressed memories clouded my mind.

_Blood… Blood everywhere. Alice is lying in a pool of blood, her mismatched eyes full of horror at the fact that her own beloved Uncle James would slit her throat without remorse._

**No…**

"_Jonathon! RUN!" I watched with eyes full of horror as my father was stabbed in the back by his own brother, my Uncle James._

**Please, no…**

"_You're weak. How many times have I told you to keep your guard up no matter what, my dear Jonathon?"_

**Please, I don't want to remember…**

"_DIE! YOU DESERVE TO DIE FOR KILLING MY DAD AND ALICE! JUST DIE ALREADY YOU IMBECILE! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! DIE DIE DIE!" I screamed even as I stabbed my Uncle in the chest multiple times with my black Necromancer sword. He deserved to die, a dark part of me whispered. He deserves to die for killing your loved ones!_

**No… Please, no more! I don't want to remember that day…**

_With a scream of anger and loss, I snapped, and a new, darker me was formed. The new darker me glared at the vampires surrounding me with a crazed expression. "Filthy leeches, you should die as well!" With a snarl, I lunged forward and stabbed the first vampire that blocked my way. "You're in my way! Get out of my way! GET OUT OF MY WAY!"_

**NO! Stop it! Please! I don't want to remember! I DON'T WANT TO – **

"Nic!" Someone was screaming my name. I could hear a distant voice calling to me, the voice reaching even through this black abyss I was trapped in. I stood up shakily, and saw Raven, her eyes full of desperation as she stared worriedly at me. She backed away though when I looked at her. I was confused at first, then without warning my memory returned to me.

We were going to confront a demon who had been interfering with the peace that we had all carefully maintained while in Ireland. Sebastian and the rest had visited us since they had been looking for a vacation after all the havoc during recent events.

Being the kind soul I was, I offered my place for the length of their stay, and to Ash's delight and Sheila's initial unhappiness, they accepted. The first few weeks were initially full of havoc when we tried organising a party, only to get drunk when a guest had slipped vodka into the punch. Raven, my sisters and I were the only ones who didn't get a hangover the next day since we had wisely stayed away from the party drinks. Still, it was fun watching Sheila get pissed off at Ciel, and try to strangle him while Sebastian, Jas and I tried to stop her. Or it may have been frightening watching a lovesick ghost swoon over me just because I shared the same name as her lover while Jerico and the rest of the guys tried to find a solution out of it. Still…

My dark side returned, and ruined everything. The demon had been in the midst of escaping while Sheila, Sebastian, Jerico and I tried to fight him off, then he threw Sheila into a wall, and caused her to fall unconscious. I snapped, and then summoned the shadows to attack him. This opened a path for my darker side, which immediately deluged me with memories of the innocents I had killed and whose souls were now trapped in my sword to my horror. And while I was distracted, he had formed the shadows into spikes and sent them to my friends and family with the full intention to kill them.

Now, I stood shakily on weak knees. "Nic, no… What are you doing?" Jas asked desperately. I tried to smile at her through numb lips, only to watch in horror as my sword arm came up without my consent and would have stabbed her had Jerico not pushed Jas aside and get a deep cut for his efforts.

He winced in pain, but yelled angrily at me. "What are you doing, Nic?" He roared. "Isn't Jas your god sister? Why did you try to kill her?" I trembled at this, my knees shaking once more. _'Yes, that was right… Jas and I became god siblings since I loved her the same way I loved my sisters…'_

"Jerico, please, I can't control myself! Take Jas and – AARGGH!" Before I could finish my plea to Jerico, my dark side took control again, making me scream in frustration and agony. With that, I was forced back into the darkness where the shadows bound me, preventing me from regaining control and stop fighting my friends and family. The darker me appeared once more, walking forward while the light faded and the shadows grew with every step.

_The secret side of me, I never let you see_

_I keep it caged but I can't control it_

_So stay away from me, the beast is ugly_

_I feel the rage and I just can't hold it_

I stared in horror at my blood drenched reflection even as he gave me a shark toothed grin. "Who – who are you?" I stammered even as my heart told the truth.

"**Me? I'm you, the darker side of you that you never let anyone see." **He said in reply, his voice full of maniacal laughter. I shuddered at this, and attempted to break free once more. I couldn't control myself as the shadows that were once under my control turned into spikes once more and started hurting the ones I loved without my permission. **"You kept me locked for so long!" **He hissed, **"You kept me locked in the back of your mind when you found your sisters, ashamed to let them see me! So now, **_**I'll **_**have control and destroy everything you hold dear!" **With that, he gave way to maniacal laughter.

_It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls_

_It comes awake and I can't control it_

_Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?_

"Nic, please! What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!" Someone screamed, and judging by the voice, it was Ash, my beautiful little sister. I was… hurting her. **"Yes, that's right, you're hurting them. Everyone you've ever loved and held dear is being hurt by you!" **The voice hissed. I couldn't stop myself and screamed for release even as my family added their cries to the numerous pleas for me to stop.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

I didn't want this! I made a promise to myself long ago never to let the dark side out of me ever since I first woke up and found myself stabbing a child to death while her mother, also slain by me, lay nearby. Yes, that was the day I swore never to release my dark side again. But now… "STOP IT!" I roared. "I don't want to hurt anyone so just goddamn stop this already!"

_My secret side I keep hid under lock and key_

_I keep it caged but I can't control it_

_'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down_

_Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?_

"I… I can't do this. Please, stop hurting them already. Stop hurting my sisters." My voice cracked even as I begged my darker side to stop his murderous rampage. Outside of my prison, my sisters seemed to have realized what was going on, and now they passed on the news to the rest of my friends. Raven now yelled at me not to give in. "Nic! You have to fight back! If I can fight Damien's control over me and my own personal monster, you can too! Just don't give in!" She yelled. Yes… Jas had told me how Raven had fought back against the beast inside her. But, I just knew that it was futile. I couldn't make it stop!

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

_I, I feel like a monster_

"**Yes, it's futile fighting back against me, especially since you were the one who created me in the first place. After all, who was the one who fought back against James in the first place and killed him? I was the one who did it, so I'm the stronger one!" **He declared triumphantly.

_It's hiding in the dark; its teeth are razor sharp_

_There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart_

_No one can hear me scream; maybe it's just a dream_

_Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster_

It was then I realized something. Something my teacher had always told me. "Necromancers pour their energy into an external container because all the power we have can't be contained by our bodies alone. Contrary to myth, our weapons never take in a living being's soul for sustenance. No, just the dark energy is enough." That meant… My sword was corrupted. My sword had to be the one that was supplying my dark side with the power he used to bind me. If that was so… Both the sword and I had to be destroyed. With that new realisation, I broke free of my bindings to the shock of my dark side. **"What are you doing?" **He screeched in something akin to fear, **"You shouldn't be able to break free!" **I ignored him. I knew what he wanted was all the negative emotions in me, so I focused on positive thoughts.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

Without giving my dark side a chance to bind me again, I pushed past him and took control, letting a new pure light from me engulf us. "Jerico…" I rasped my voice raw from screaming. For the first time, I saw the damage I had caused. Everyone was hurt, their bodies marked with multiple cuts. I felt guilt at this, and my dark side tried to take advantage of it, only to get pushed aside by me. "Jerico." I repeated my voice steadier and louder this time. Jerico turned towards me, his eyes full of wariness which cleared upon meeting my tired golden eyes.

"Nic, what's going on? What did the twins mean by you having a dark side?" Jerico asked sharply. I couldn't answer for a moment as my dark side fought back by forming the shadows into claws and raking my chest with them. The pain was unbelievable, but I resisted it, focusing all my will on speaking with Jerico. "Jerico, I give you… permission to use… my sword…" I rasped painfully.

Jerico's brows knitted in confusion and he started to speak, but I wasn't finished. "I give you… permission to use… my sword to… kill me." I forced out the words despite the continuous mental battle I was engaged in. Jas came over at this, her eyes full of shock at my words.

"Nic, what are you saying? You can't possibly have a death wish!" Ah… Jas… Have I ever told you how much I used to love you when we first met, but then later gave up since I realised that you loved Jerico? It was only when I realised this that I found out that you were like a sister to me, so I adopted you as my god sister. With much effort, I sat up.

"Jerico, you have to… do it… if you want... to kill my dark side. We're connected… so do it!" I repeated fiercely. I could see the hesitation in Jerico's eyes as he considered this. Sheila, ever the sharp one, came at this point, and yelled at me.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING YOU GODDAMN MARTYR?" Sheila roared. I couldn't help but smile painfully at this. My sister, the fierce one in the family, always hid her love behind a mask of scowls. That was the reason why I never complained much about her attitude. Now though, it was time to say goodbye.

"Jerico, do it." I said simply.

_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

_I've gotta lose control, he something radical_

_I must confess that I feel like a monster_

Jerico gritted his teeth, and grasped my fallen sword. He held it, that matt black sword of mine contrasting with his pale skin. "I'm sorry," He whispered, and hesitation was replaced with steely determination as he plunged the sword straight into my heart. I screamed; it was impossible not to even as my back arched against the pain. Inside, I could hear my dark side screaming away.

"**NO NO NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU WILL DIE TOO!" **He howled, his body cracking. I didn't care. The darkness consumed me again, but this time it was a comforting darkness that wrapped around me with their cold embrace.

_I, I feel like a monster_

I may be a monster, but I didn't care as long as I could take in the darkness that my loved ones were burdened with. Yes… That was something I was willing to do.

_I, I feel like a monster_

Someone was crying my name, crying for me to wake up and not abandon her just like her parents did. Ah… "Eli… za… beth…" I murmured, my golden eyes opening to see my beloved sister holding onto me and crying away. Everything was hazy, but I didn't care, since the shadows were at the edge of my vision, waiting to embrace me once more.

_I, I feel like a monster_

"Big Brother, you promised to stay with me! Are you going to leave me alone again?" Ash sobbed while Sheila just embraced me and buried her face in my bloodied chest to hide her tears.

"Don't cry… Elizabeth… Alicia. Jerico, take care… of my sisters… for me…" I whispered, blood dribbling from my lips. Inside, my dark side was overwhelmed by the greedy shadows he once controlled, and after a while, shattered into pieces that were immediately consumed. I heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing them disappear, and felt lighter already. Jerico was nodding away, his eyes bright with unshed tears even as he gripped my hand tightly. I smiled at this, and felt my eyelids grow heavier. I could hear the wailing increase in volume, but I didn't care, for I was now at peace.

I may be pure now, but I knew that I would always be a monster.

A monster that will never rise again.

_I, I feel like a monster_

* * *

**And yes, it's the end. Sorry if the songfic sucks, but it's my first time writing something like it! *sniffle* An advance apology to SebastianMichaelisForLife; I'm sorry I killed your boyfriend Nic, but it was necessary. Then again, if you guys want Nic to live again, comment in your review! Bye!**


End file.
